Skip to main content

Pledged - Boys Boys Boys

So Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities starts with discussing boys. They're a common theme throughout what I've read so far. 

Seemingly, in some chapters (sorority chapters that is, not the book kind), sisters will tell each other who they are allowed to date. They'll frown upon dating GDIs (God Damn Independents), brothers of less popular fraternities, or really any guy who doesn't meet the approval of the sisters.

This was not the case in my chapter. If we felt that a guy was 'bad news' we'd tell you, but it was ultimately your decision. If the guy turned around and hurt you, though, we always sided with you. He was the one to be disowned, no matter what his social standing was.

Now there were guys that were known to be shady. We called these boys "Rusty Lyres". They went out of their way to try and date many sisters in the chapter. To the point where their 'lyre' (our sorority symbol; the instrument of the Gods) was 'rusty' and nobody wanted to even attempt to play it. I had one such friend, who at one point tried to get away with dating two of our sisters at the same time. Needless to say, he got found out. We then found out that he had hit on many other sisters as well. Thus, he was deemed a 'Rusty Lyre' and was friend-zoned by not only our chapter, but all of the sorority women I'd gotten to know while in school, regardless of their chapter affiliation.

Now of course there were fights over guys. I got in a fight with one sister over a guy who we both liked but she put in the effort to win over while I didn't. They're still good friends, and she's one of the sisters that will always have a place in my heart; the type of friend that you can still call years later and catch up like no time has passed at all.

As for less popular fraternities, many of my sisters dated men from all different organizations. The 'Rusty Lyre' was considered to be a Mid-Low Tier, though he was one of the more popular guys in his chapter. The guy involved in the fight was considered to be Top-Tier at the time. My Big dated a guy from a Top-Tier for a time before he started flirting with her roommate. She then started to hang out with guys from the 'dorkier' lower tiered chapters. Many of my sisters dated men from that genre; many of them are now engaged or married to men of that genre. They're in some of the happiest relationships I saw in college. 

In the beginning of my college career I was dating a GDI (the boy I'd gone to Senior Prom with and had had a crush on since I was 8). My sisters would always try to make him feel welcome at date functions and formals, and the fraternity men they would bring as dates would try to include him as well. We'd gone on 'break' my Junior year and my sisters were there for me (even when we were fighting) and never tried to put pressure on me to date (or not date) anyone. By senior year, he and I had started to become friends again. Now, post-college, we're once again dating. None of my sisters ever questioned why I was dating a 'GDI'.

Basically, image of who you were dating was not quite as important to us as how you treated our sisters. You could be the most attractive man, but if you weren't faithful, your looks did not matter at all. You could be the dorkiest guy, but if you were funny and sweet to the sister you were dating, then you won all the brownie points in the world. If you had it all, ... well if you were dating one of our sisters and she was happy with the relationship then I guess you did have it all. Whether the outside world agreed or not. As long as you treated our sister right, you were okay in our book.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fake Friends

I have spent so much time of my life wasted on fake friends. The problem is, I rarely realize they're fake friends until I've already spent months or years of love and effort on these relationships only to watch them fail. Then, when these relationships fail, I spend far too long missing these people who were never truly my friends to begin with. This has made it harder for me to form connections and put in the effort from fear that new friends will be fake as well, but I'm working on it. Here are some examples that I've discovered are fake friends.

The Friends That Are Only There In The Good Times

When everything is going right in your life these friends are right there with you celebrating. However, when times get tough, and you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to drink wine, eat ice cream and pizza with, these friends are suddenly nowhere to be found. These friends are still fun, and you may not want to cut all ties with them, but know that they will never be yo…

Going Back To School

Before I start this post, I want to apologize for not posting as much as I was earlier in the year. I decided to go back to school for an additional certificate on my degree (hence this post's title). This is taking up a lot more of my time than I had anticipated. However, I'm still going to be blogging at least once a month for the duration of the classes so please bear with me.

That said, here are some things I've learned about myself and the concept of going back to school after you've been gone for a few years.
This semester is the first semester I've actually been back on a campus for a class in 4-5 years. The last two classes I took for this certificate were online, on my time. Actually being back in a classroom with a dedicated time slot is a huge transition for me. I'm used to studying on my own, asking questions as I need to, and coming in for exams. Now, sitting in a classroom with a professor and a bunch of other students, I've never felt so out …

A Year in Review: 2017

At the end of every year, I like to look back on the past year and remind myself of all of the things I've managed to do and accomplish. It helps me put things in perspective and remember to be grateful every day. It reminds me that even when I'm having a bad day, there are always good days yet to come, and helps me start the new year off on a happy, healthy footing mentally and spiritually. So here is my list for 2017:

1. My boyfriend and I started the year off spending time with family on NYE/New Year's Day. Getting to spend a lot of time with family would be very important for the whole year.

2. In early January, we decided to continue our tradition of trying to see the tree at Rockefeller Center every year (although technically we were counting this as part of 2016's Christmas season).

3. My mother made a goal for herself to visit all of the counties of New Jersey, and she and I got to have quality time wandering the Princeton Art Museum in January, Laurita Winery …