Pledged - Boys Boys Boys

So Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities starts with discussing boys. They're a common theme throughout what I've read so far. 

Seemingly, in some chapters (sorority chapters that is, not the book kind), sisters will tell each other who they are allowed to date. They'll frown upon dating GDIs (God Damn Independents), brothers of less popular fraternities, or really any guy who doesn't meet the approval of the sisters.

This was not the case in my chapter. If we felt that a guy was 'bad news' we'd tell you, but it was ultimately your decision. If the guy turned around and hurt you, though, we always sided with you. He was the one to be disowned, no matter what his social standing was.

Now there were guys that were known to be shady. We called these boys "Rusty Lyres". They went out of their way to try and date many sisters in the chapter. To the point where their 'lyre' (our sorority symbol; the instrument of the Gods) was 'rusty' and nobody wanted to even attempt to play it. I had one such friend, who at one point tried to get away with dating two of our sisters at the same time. Needless to say, he got found out. We then found out that he had hit on many other sisters as well. Thus, he was deemed a 'Rusty Lyre' and was friend-zoned by not only our chapter, but all of the sorority women I'd gotten to know while in school, regardless of their chapter affiliation.

Now of course there were fights over guys. I got in a fight with one sister over a guy who we both liked but she put in the effort to win over while I didn't. They're still good friends, and she's one of the sisters that will always have a place in my heart; the type of friend that you can still call years later and catch up like no time has passed at all.

As for less popular fraternities, many of my sisters dated men from all different organizations. The 'Rusty Lyre' was considered to be a Mid-Low Tier, though he was one of the more popular guys in his chapter. The guy involved in the fight was considered to be Top-Tier at the time. My Big dated a guy from a Top-Tier for a time before he started flirting with her roommate. She then started to hang out with guys from the 'dorkier' lower tiered chapters. Many of my sisters dated men from that genre; many of them are now engaged or married to men of that genre. They're in some of the happiest relationships I saw in college. 

In the beginning of my college career I was dating a GDI (the boy I'd gone to Senior Prom with and had had a crush on since I was 8). My sisters would always try to make him feel welcome at date functions and formals, and the fraternity men they would bring as dates would try to include him as well. We'd gone on 'break' my Junior year and my sisters were there for me (even when we were fighting) and never tried to put pressure on me to date (or not date) anyone. By senior year, he and I had started to become friends again. Now, post-college, we're once again dating. None of my sisters ever questioned why I was dating a 'GDI'.

Basically, image of who you were dating was not quite as important to us as how you treated our sisters. You could be the most attractive man, but if you weren't faithful, your looks did not matter at all. You could be the dorkiest guy, but if you were funny and sweet to the sister you were dating, then you won all the brownie points in the world. If you had it all, ... well if you were dating one of our sisters and she was happy with the relationship then I guess you did have it all. Whether the outside world agreed or not. As long as you treated our sister right, you were okay in our book.


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